Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
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