you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
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