so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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