"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
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