Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
