i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize
