please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
