Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
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I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
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I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
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