every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
