I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Randomize
