your thong is hanging out like whoa
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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