Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
