At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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