no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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