That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Randomize
