Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
