I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
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