You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
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He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
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Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
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