u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize