sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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