And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
