I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
