I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
