speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
