He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
