how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
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