Grow some girl-balls and come out already
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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