so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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