Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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