the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize