So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
