just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Randomize