think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
