Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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