I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
