Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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