Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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