I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
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