I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
