I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
