The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
