There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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