Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
