he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
