im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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