a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
He felt like a one man threesome
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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