they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
