some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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