i jhust puked up my retainher.
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
