is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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