I just threw up on my dentist
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
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