I just saw a hot homeless man
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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