i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
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