So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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