some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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